Book 15

Here's book 15. That means I'm up to date. Book 16 is the first entry.

ME

I understand the inner workings of the kitty mind.

It's hard to talk to someone who still has hope.

I have a whole frog full of change!

"If 'ass' comes at the beginning of an insult it's a swearword, if it comes at the end, it's not." Me. "When is it a compliment?" Marie M. "When it's preceded by the word 'nice'." Me.

Daniel M.

No matter how much I suck, I'm still pretty awesome.

I can't say that I'd really complain about bosoms all around my head.

I think I just accidentally took a picture of my crotch.

You can't just say the Pujols.

"I think I interrupted your baseball watching." Dan. "It's okay, I got to see Pujols." Me. "And all the little Pujols." Dan

"I get scared of the pop up balls and close my eyes." Me. "That contradicts the advice of "keep you eyes on the ball'." Dan

Mom

"You get in an accident and they up your rate!" Randy "Rate is 'butt' in Dutch." Mom

"I don't want to go to church today." Me. "Why, didn't you sleep well?" Mom. "No, I slept fine." Me. "Then I have no sympathy for you." Mom. "But I have sympathy for you!" Me. "Yeah, but I'm old." Mom

Randy D.

Be peaceful or I'll kick your ass!

Emily H.

It's not their fault they don't have sphincters!

Lewie H.

Sounds like something bad is going to happen on the morrow.

Dan's night isn't complete because he hasn't had bosoms around his head.

After dinner I had three feet of goodness in my intestines.

Flipper got all the love anyone could ever want!

Marie M.

I guess he's the go-to guy for bringing suspenders back into style.

Chris H.

For sale: three-legged cat, slightly used.

Dave C.

Jared, that smaller cast makes you look more slender.

"Women giggle. What do men do?" Me. "We chuckle." Dave. "Who chortles?" Me. "Fat men." Dave

How was the wagon ride, junior?

October 2009

"I can't give you a ride--I've got ten boxes of cereal and a bag full of monkeys in my car!"--Me

"My grandparents were killed by a bunt cake!"--Dave C.