Book 7

Here we go...Book 7:

Daniel M:

When all else fails, play Screeching Weasel.

Do you know what will help you sleep--being in the mosh pit all night!

I'm clouded by my own ignorant radicalism.

Teddy J:

"Ted, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Kylie. "Maybe a mind." Ted. "Ok." Kylie. "Because they only speak with their hands." Ted. "Oh, a mime. I don't think mimes make that much money. They're kind of like homeless people." Kylie.

Me:

Little boys flirt with me...so do old men. It's the ones my age that I have problems with.

That's what's kept me from killing a lot of people: low blood-sugar.

If you're dating a superhero everyone pales in comparison.

Emily H:

Who doesn't want drunk German's celebrating them?

Dennis W:

Don't complain when you get something for free!

"I think it was John who brought up necrophilia..." Dennis. "It wasn't me!" John. "Oh pardon, It wasn't you who brought it up, but it was you who knew how to spell it." Dennis

Rob C:

We prepare for the big crises, but it's the little fears that will break us down.

Ginger R:

He kind of took up residence in my head.

"Ginger, I need to take my brain out for a vacation." Me. "How are you going to do that?" Ginger. "Have you got on of those pumpkin scrapers?" Me. "No, but do you know what I do have: a melon-baller!" Ginger

You go, Buddha!

I want to be the Secretary of Cookies.

Ben S:

2,001 things a drunk slut should do before she dies!

I've been wanting to hear this story forever!

I'm gonna be a really good doctor...not one of those bad doctors who kill people.

Al:

"Hey, don't do that I might lose a hand!" Mad guy. "Well, I didn't do anything and did you stop to think you might hurt my feelings, you lousy bastard." Al.