Friday, February 26, 2010

Book 10

Book 10--I list the people in the order in which they are quoted in my book.

Daniel M.

I was really excited about the salad-spinner, too! You should have seen this thing!

This song's faster so you might want to get up and mosh.

That's where I was supposed to start but didn't, obviously.

I need to import some Venezuelan chicken.

"Easy there, Mr. Destructo. Or is it Captain Destructo?" Me. "Actually, it's El Capitan!"

That's what you get for messing with the Shark Captain!

Instead of having a hand with a line through it they should have a sticker that reads: Caution Hella Fucking Hot!

This is a dramatic reenactment of a rather dramatic lip-syncing.

We're coming up on Hoot's you want to stop in for some buffalo wings?

I'm trying to think of ways you could be worth probably have some harvest-able organs.

Rob C.

I have so many levels of hate for you right now.

It says something about your nature if you have adhesive spit.

I forgot to shave today and it makes me feel mean.

There's a haphazard feeling to the floating baby people.

The extent of my mental Rolodex will be used!

We engage in war & therapy.

Have you ever heard the phrase 'to be used against you in a court of law'?

Kylie J.

I'd only call you lizard-woman out of love.

You're a veggie-lover lover.

someone is calling you a "stupidass" in their head right now.

"I love how loudly chips crunch in my head!" Me. "Do they drown out the voices?" Kylie

"Bless you." Me. "I didn't sneeze." Kylie. "I didn't bless you." Me. "Well then, bless you, too!" Kylie

Tell Daniel to take care of you or I'll kick his non-existent butt!

Ginger R.

I don't know, but I Googled one in Japan.

David E-H

But I've had a good week, so shut the hell up.

She was skipping towards her dark place.

"David, did you hurt yourself?" Me. "I'm turning 40 in a week, of course I hurt myself." David

Randy D.

"I'm not looking for a 'half,' I'm looking for a 'whole'." Me. "Just make sure it's not an asshole." Randy.

What--so your bra has to align with the north star?

I had a dream about Albert, but the part of Albert was being played by Denzel Washington.

Ben S.

God's up there right now, "I would strike her down but...gosh, I lover her!"

Brad C.

I was heading into surgery the other day and Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" was playing.


"I'm detecting a hint of sarcasm." Kylie. "Only a hint? Perhaps I'm not trying hard enough." Me

"Where do you people come from?" Kylie. "From the land of watching movies that came out after we were born." Me.

I can't hit him, he looks like Jesus!

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