Book 6

Here is book 6

David E-H

Hit the deck! That ham sandwich is gonna blow!!

Hornby would make the argument...and since he's not here, I'll do it for him...

Me

Mango laundry soap? How do you not eat your clothes!

"Take this pizza with you." Ginger. "I really hate cold pizza" Me. "What about your roommates?" Ginger. "I hate them, too." Me.

The sound of shaken fairies.

I wish I had a mind that thought is lines instead of swirlyques.

I'm debating whether or not to keep Petey's legs.

Kylie J.

Plastic ass can? What? Is it a chair? Like a bucket seat?

"I don't want to be a hippogryph!" Teddy "Too much Harry Potter, not enough church." Kylie

Rob C.

If you'll look here I think you'll see that there is some suspicious leotard action going on.

In honor of 'Intimate Apparel' I am wearing lace undies.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I hope that really happens.

I know, you think I'm annoying...it's in my nature.

Isn't there a sort of disconnect between your passion to destroy a country and your inability to find it on a map?

We were all on Prozac that semester...and some of us never got off.

So, we killed him. But that's not important and I want you to forget that fact.

Don't take this the wrong way, but, you sick bitch!

Paul K.

"Nellie is now the director. I am the female actor." Paul. "You'll have to shave." Nellie. "No. Russian." Paul

Confucius is a silly head.

Here's a far-fetched...and really bad idea.

Ginger R.

I trump you! I'm in line to die!

If a disaster comes, I'm gonna eat my dog.

"The bathroom smells like a wet poodle!" Me. "A DEAD wet poodle!" Ginger

Don't come to my house!!

Amy S.

Don't admire my sacrilege!

Do I have something on my philtrum? Do I have a philtrum?

Stephen H.

This is a rock? Where do we commonly find rocks?

A sturdy dirt clod and a soft rock are pretty much the same thing.

Landslides, and the prevention thereof.

What happened and how do they feel? In geology no one cares how they feel. The fact that they're there is incidental.

"A university course in stealing and thievery...that would be cool." Me. "Well, the UI does have the college of Law." Stephen

I'm allergic to myself and I can't stand to be confined like that!

Elizabeth S.

Crap on a stick!

They're about as similar as bananas and cheese.

Ben S.

Moths are butterflies ugly cousins. Ben. "Yeah, but do your ugly cousins eat your clothes?" Jade. "Well, yea." Ben.

Every time she kills me I get dead!

What does the acronym ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM stand for?

"People like me. I don't know why." Me. "I can name several reasons...you're fun...well, that's about it." Ben

Jade S.

Ooo...no one likes you.

I'm paying attention...I'm just not smart.

Daniel M.

Ted Nugent talks that way even when buying socks.

Sherri D.

"We just get worried when we can't get a hold of you." Chris. "Did you think I was dead in the back yard?" Mom. "No, Albert checked the back yard." Sherri.

Book 4

Book 4 starts using dates, but I like how I did Book 3 so I'm continuing that way:

Ginger R:

I'm living on the edge! I almost ate a cookie!!

He raised show chickens.

Patrick:

I get nervous around girls! I spell my name backwards around them!

JJ:

Mine's a poo poo dictionary.

The Turretic Detective.

Ergo...dirt stop.

Who was that crazy bastard?

David E-H:

Testosterone-based biases.

Rob C:

Despite the books, the learning', my world remains in utter chaos.

People like nothing better than to be connected to the Greeks. I don't know why.

All these words sitting around! We might as well use them!!

In the concourse of the play...in the fabric of the play...Just in the play, ok!

There was no such thing as frequent flyer miles int he Elizabethan period.

It's not xenophobia, it's a healthy suspicion.

I've learned my history in a shamelessly anglicized way.

The first think you do is hire a French kick-boxer to exact your revenge.

Let me use the phrase again: comprehensive exam. And, by definition, that means a long time ago.

"No one's gonna make fun of you--you write the grades!" Brian. "It's never stopped you before." Rob

"Yeah, but your map was in Spanish." Rob C. "That's because it was of Spain." James C.

I love you all dearly, but you're really getting on my nerves.

Actually, nothin in my life has ever been my fault. It's rather ironic. And it's passed on through my genes. The other day I heard a plate break in the kitchen and although all three of my sons were in there, it was nobody's fault.

Louis P:

You're a fantastic woman! Ff you weren't here, you'd have to be invented!

Pinkos forever!!

Nathan T:

So, when are you going to find a dirty, little Asian slave boy to settle down with?

Randy D:

If she calls herself the Mistress of All Evil, I don't think she's interested in being happy.

Paul K:

He had a big nose and he hit people with a stick...what more do you need?

We're craving truth!

Anything that can be hung upon must be clown-bearing.

Jeff D:

Oh look! Something fall from sky! I take picture!

Me:

Chivalry isn't dead...it's just at a Gothic Gay nightclub.

Jessie B.

Mom, I'm sure glad you managed to have enough nipples for all of us.

Christina C.

It's like Ebonics...only it's Mormonics.